A Four Good Husband

Peer pressure among men dictates many of the social norms here. Older men drink and smoke because they are forced to show how manly they are and they must out-drink and out-smoke their friends to show they are the manliest. All of my female students see this behavior as piggish and don’t find it attractive. But the men do, so the traditions continue.

There is a rare breed of Chinese man who they call “sì hǎorén,” A Four Good Husband. This husband does not smoke, does not drink and he helps with housework and cooking. In introducing my family to my students, they have concluded that I have not only married a Four Good Husband, but I found the rarest treasure of all: A Five Good Husband. Joel has risen above all other Chinese men not only because he has the four pillars, but because he added a fifth: he is very handsome.

Joel has been so supportive of me during this trip. He’s encouraged me to take the risk and teach abroad, even when I tested the limits by extending my trip an extra two weeks. He’s taken care of the kitties, all of our plants and the gardens, the yard, and the house while I’ve been away. Each day we talk I hear from a joyful and loving man. Even when I have a hard day here, he focuses on the positives and keeps me striving to give my teachers the very best each day. And if that wasn’t enough, he has bought me a side trip to Xi’an where I will be able to visit the Terracotta Army.

Apart from teaching, there were two things I wanted to do while I was here. I wanted to hike the Great Wall and see the Terracotta Army. I never imagined being able to do everything I wanted, but I am leaving China without any regrets. Every adventure has proven to be more amazing than anything I read in my travel books, and now I’ve been given a gift to complete the journey. My cup runneth over!

Even though my schedule is set for the last few days, I do not know what kind of connections I will have. Here is my plan (on China time):

            Thursday, July 29 – Night train from Shanghai to Xi’an

            Friday, July 30 – Xi’an; spend the night in Xi’an

            Saturday, July 31 – Flight from Xi’an to Shanghai; spend the night in Shanghai

            Sunday, August 1 – Fly home (Shanghai to San Francisco to Denver)

           

I hope to be able to post my experiences in Xi’an before I come back home. But if not, I am so proud for this to be my last message from China. To my sweet and wonderful husband…Thank you for being you! 

Maybe It Doesn't Matter....

It Doesn’t Matter

I have tried in personal emails and in other posts to communicate the personality of the Chinese people I have met and the customs and attitudes that have been relayed to me through our experiences; however, I fear my words have fallen short of the great task to accurately portray a people and culture after only spending a short time with them. There is one thing, though, that has been consistent through all of my travels (in direct conversations, experiences, and in the general feel of a place). There is a saying “méiguānxì” (pronounced may-gwan-she), which basically means “it doesn’t matter.” And, oh, there are so many things that just don’t matter.


During our trip to Zhejiang Province, our host, Jameson, tickled us with his use of the phrase. We all donned our traffic-cone-orange hats, and Karen asked him if we looked nice in them. He looked at all of us silly Americans, snickered, and said, “It doesn’t matter.” I hope he doesn’t reply in the same manner when his wife asks if her jeans make her look fat. This was a favorite expression of his especially at dinner time. Whenever there was something funny looking on table, we would cautiously peer into the dish and hesitantly ask what was in it (always partially hoping he would just lie to us), and he would say, “Ah, I think it doesn’t matter.” But, with toxic fish, animal guts, and chicken feet often gracing the dinner table, it so mattered.


Our Saturday evening brought us face to face with a socially acceptable form of the phrase. The restaurants and shops were so crowded people began parking their cars in the middle of the street, thus the e-bikes and scooters took to using the already jammed sidewalks as their own personal travel lanes. Ordinarily the e-bikes and scooters share the available sidewalk space and it does not create a problem, but the large number of pedestrians forced us all into a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants tango in order to allow all the moving parties to pass unharmed. In any other situation this would have led to injuries and chaos (not to mention a large-scale panic attack for me), but here, in China, it not only worked but seemed like a reasonable and planned alternative. As I was clutching my bag and minding my toes and elbows, I began to think how absurd this all was. How can China possibly become a modern and developed country when they can’t keep order in their own streets? And then it happened. Just like drinking sweet iced tea during a hot Texas noon, “It doesn’t matter” washed over me and I immediately melted into the rhythm and flow of what is the China Way.



In that moment the cacophonous din of traffic, laughter, honking, yelling, open-air concerts, toddlers singing karaoke, and peddlers swirled around me. I stopped right where I was to look all around, and I could not believe that I was really in China. This amazing adventure is coming to a close, but in that moment I had to laugh out loud at the blessings I have been living. I am in China. I’ve been living and teaching in China. I’ve travelled and met new people. I’m living a dream. Gratitude and joy overwhelmed my pounding ears, watering eyes, and offended nose. I stood in the middle of what would normally be an incredibly irritating and obnoxious situation for my Type A personality, and soaked it all in. Instead of reaching for my Advil and seeking respite alone, I dove deeper into the crowds and became part of – even if only for a small moment –the people I’ve tried so desperately to understand.


Maybe

Maybe is an overused word by most Chinese who are learning English. Until yesterday, I assumed the translation was pretty close. The contexts I’ve noticed range from “perhaps” to “it is possible” to “I will look into it.” It is entirely possible the misunderstanding has been on my part because I learned that really it means, “I have no idea what you are saying but I think I will make something up so you think I know and I will cross my fingers that it all works out in the end.” And as a result, I had my first questionable travel trip as we ventured to the city of Suzhou.

We’ve been planning the day trip to Suzhou by talking to our translator and assistants about the place we wanted to go, the items we wanted to buy, and the sites we wanted to explore. We even saw a television program with the exact location and showed them pictures from someone who had previously travelled there. But, it turns out, we were never speaking the same language. We were requesting to visit a quiet and quaint district of Suzhou. When we heard, “maybe we go to Suzhou on Sunday,” we heard the “it is possible” translation. What they were saying was “maybe we will go to the place you want, or maybe not.” We got the maybe not.

We arrived at what we thought was going to be a traditional Chinese garden but turned out to be an orange grove. The guide recommended we take the hill trail to the lake. “Maybe five minutes,” she encouraged. 35 minutes later we arrived at a paved road, where in the distance we could see a lake. Our translator, host and assistants said we should keep going up the paved road for “maybe five minutes.” So we went. Ten minutes later I asked where we were going (just to clarifying the end goal of this five minute jaunt). “Maybe the top of the mountain,” they replied, which in this case meant there was no destination. We were hiking to nowhere. Without any water.

And then we get to Maybe-Suzhou. Since we were expecting the water district, built around canals and hailed as the Chinese Venice, we were a bit surprised to find ourselves in a concrete downtown lined with Papa John’s, TGI Friday, Mc Donald’s and KFC. Literally all of the flags on the flag poles were advertising some type of American product or food. We ate at an authentic Chinese fast food restaurant where we all took our best shot at ordering from the translated menu, which became a more daunting task as we all began to understand how “maybe” has been severely mistranslated between us and our caretakers. It all came to a climax during this conversation:

Robert (American teacher): What is this?


Janet (our translator): Maybe it is sweet.


Robert: Is it sweet?


Janet: Maybe. But maybe it is meat.


Robert: Is it meat? What kind of meat?


Janet: Maybe it is not meat.


Robert: What is this?


Janet: Maybe just try it.


Robert: Do you know what this is?


Janet: Maybe I do not. Just try it.


And so he did. It was neither sweet nor was it meat, but it was a fried bean curd pastry. And Janet says, “Oh yes. Maybe it is bean curd. It is not sweet.” At that point we knew we were never going to make it to the Venice of China.

But in the end, maybe it just doesn’t matter. I’ve had an experience of a lifetime and even this little misadventure only endears me more to the Chinese. I understand a little bit better that no matter the situation, I have the power to paint it. I can choose to focus on the negatives, or I can enrich my experience by seeking the humor, love, and beauty wherever I go and in whomever I meet. I would not trade any of my days or experiences, and even the misunderstandings and stomachaches have created stories I will cherish forever. Thank you, China, for this!

Suzhou pictures: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Suzhou/

Spoiled!

Our reception the first two days was outstanding. We were greeted in Jiangning by two of our hosts. The first night we had dinner at a beautiful brocade museum. Our menu was quite interesting. We ate farm-raised ants (deep fried with peanuts), oxtail, goose liver (French-style…whatever that means), pig feet, pigeon, cold pumpkin soup with lily flower, and chicken black bone soup. They served a delicious and refreshing pureed cucumber and honey drink, which made the ants go down must easier. They were crunchy, and with the peanut, didn’t taste like anything. My only complaint is that the parts were easily stuck in my teeth. I was okay until I had to pick an ant leg out of my front teeth.

Our hotel is catering to our every dietary need. We have yogurt every morning with the rice porridge so I’m feel like I’m getting more nutrition. Toxic fish has disappeared off the menu completely, and I even had some bacon wrapped mystery meat. (Put bacon around anything, and I’ll eat it!!) Tonight the ladies taking care of our meals are going to teach us how to make dumplings. I am so excited to learn this craft, but, really, I just miss cooking. It should be a great experience, and I hope I don’t find any surprise ingredients in the dumplings I’ve loved eating all this time.

So, for now, I am going to keep living the dream! Miss you all!

Nantong Pictures: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Nantong/

Random Thoughts, Observations, Etc..

How to Survive an Intersection in China

To the untrained eye intersections in China may seem like a Vegas table game, where some super being is rolling the dice to see if chance will allow any of the players to escape unharmed; however, after a few weeks of my life being one of the die, I must say there is an extraordinary and subtle organization to traffic here. The key, I believe, is to never stop moving. I’ve learned this through trial and error; mostly taking my life and throwing up to the fates to decide whether or not my theory is correct. (Seeing as I am still able to write this to you, I must be on to something.)

The traffic food chain is the complete reverse from the US. This is a land where the bus reigns over all. I have a sketch in my journal of a bus, mouth wide and bearing its fangs, overtaking the cab, which is over the car, which is over the scooter and bike, which is over the mere human. In China, the pedestrian is the plankton of the traffic food chain. Understanding the hierarchy serves one well when deciding how to move through an intersection. The bus will always keep its trajectory, while the others must dance around and obey the natural order.
The flow makes sense and always (well, usually) produces the desired end result. Stopping throws off the karma and chaos ensues, as exemplified when I stopped in the middle of an intersection only to cause a massive jam requiring multiple cars and bikes and people to go into a panic when they couldn’t figure how to get out of this knot – a knot where a plankton-like American stood dumbfounded in the center. So long as you move – whether it be side-stepping, speeding up, slowing down, or flat out jumping – the order continues.

I hardly notice the traffic anymore. It all makes sense. I can see the order and plan, though I am looking forward to returning home where I will no longer be at the bottom of the food chain.

Toilet Troubles

Squatty potties are the norm. Thankfully I have evolved (or maybe devolved) and developed the necessary skills to master this Chinese staple. The first week or so I was plagued with wet ankles, never able to perfect my aim. But once I was able to get the physics of it down, my troubles turned to a new sort.

This past weekend, my new friend Karen and I went to the ladies room at a restaurant, where we were greeted with a new form of squatty potty: No doors, 3 foot walls, and a backward facing hole. Seeing as we were both dealing with female issues unique to our very different life stages, we made a pact to see each other through this event. With the main door locked, when commenced to take care of our business, only to nearly lose our balance when we started laughing – and couldn’t stop – at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.

Later on I found another restroom toiler, but it was not gender specific. It had two stalls and two doors, but here, the men and women go in together. I was trying to adjust my timing to get in there with a woman, but my little dance outside of the door only caused mass confusion. So I bit the bullet. With my head down and refusing to make eye contact, I entered my stall and tried to pretend there wasn’t a man right next door.

And then the coup’de gra: I knocked a woman off the hole. At lunch this week, I went to the restroom and tried to enter a stall where the door was partially open. (Realize that even if there are doors, privacy doesn’t matter; oftentimes people go with the doors wide open.) Of course, there was a woman in there, and I hit her in the head and she lost her balance. She was taking care of some serious business, and I all I could do was say ‘sorry’ over and over again. But the more I said it, the louder she yelled. So I cut my losses, went into the next stall, and finished in record time just so I would not have to face her at the sink.

Really, it shouldn’t be this hard.

Is that rain?

The best way to describe the weather is damp. It’s not just humid, though we’ve been in the upper 90% everyday. It’s damp. The pollution and humidity create a new kind of damp. My hair and skin are never fully dry, and papers and clothes always have that need-five-more-minutes-in-the-dryer feeling.

In Beijing, we only saw blue sky for about 2 hours after a heavy rain on the Great Wall. In Nanjing, I saw my shadow for the first time while we were in Phoenix Square. But on Wednesday, I left the hotel for school and I saw a full blue sky. After a few hours the pollution rolled in. You can see it coming, like a massive thunderstorm.

It rains almost every day, but there have been several times when we were not convinced it was really rain. The air pollution is so think that it sometimes appears to be a case of inversion and the particles we are feeling are actually toxic. Kind of like the fish soup I had on my first night in Jiangning.

15 Minutes of Fame

If it’s true that we all will have our 15 minutes of fame, then I am living mine. In my travels outside of the larger cities, I’ve met people who have never seen a Westerner and they want a chance to photograph this illusive creature. Yes, they really do exist! People will approach us no matter where we are just to say hello and take a picture. I’ve now started asking them to use my camera too just so I can have proof of my stardom. So if you look through my pictures and see me with random folks, just know this is a way for me to remember my glory days when I am old.

Weekend Adventures (July 10 – 12)

On Saturday, our hosts, Jameson and Dr. Song, gave us a tour of Nanjing. We started at the Phoenix Square built in 1992. It is an up-and-coming area where young people often live. The property is much more modern and expensive than the rest of the city. Like most parks in the area, it was deserted during the day; however, once the sun goes down and the air cools, the park comes alive with dancing, music, and games.

 

China is facing a housing crisis. Prices are skyrocketing and salaries are not matching the increase. Depending on whom you ask the blame is either placed on the central government or on local officials. There is a trend of young, educated adults seeking jobs elsewhere because they cannot afford to buy a house or a flat. This emerging middle class is also going to create an interesting challenge to China’s transportation infrastructure. With an increasing population seeking cars, the current roadways and parking areas cannot contain the rising need. I wonder how – as areas such as the Phoenix Square develop, and people move out of the city – commuting and green initiatives will impact the people and authorities. 

We then travelled to Sun Yatsen’s Mausoleum. This was a beautiful area, also known as Purple Mountain. It’s a beautiful national park to honor the man they credit with salvaging the nation from dynastic rule. The best part of the visit for me was meeting a large group of school children. They are learning in English in school and the swarmed Karen and me to practice their phrases. It was precious! Without taking a breath they said, “Hello! How are you? I am fine. See you soon. Nice to meet you. I love you!” Their teachers corralled them around to make sure each one practiced their English greetings with a real American. I must admit, for a slight moment, I felt like a movie star! J

We then visited the Nanjing City Wall. There is a Buddhist Temple located right next to the area where we were, and it seemed such a drastic contrast to the violence once enacted just outside of its walls. Part of the wall was demolished during the massacre but has since been rebuilt. At the wall, I saw evidence of the various ages of the city. I stood on the wall, originally built during the Ming dynasty from 1366 – 1393. Looking across the wall, just inside the city, I saw the Buddhist Temple backed by large, modern skyscrapers and factories. On the other side of the wall, just outside of the city, the largest lake in Nanjing created a quite a peaceful setting for young families, older couples, and teens. In a city that was completely destroyed in the early part of the 20^th century, it makes sense to see the life stages all in one view.

On Sunday and Monday, our school honored us with an overnight trip to Zhejiang Province. This is a trip usually reserved for their full-time teaching staff, but this was the first year the foreign teachers were asked to come along. What an honor! We were spoiled with at 5-star hotel and an amazing tour. This is an agriculture area, one of the wealthiest in China. The pictures will show how every house is built around a communal farm where neighbors share land and crops. The traditional ways of farming are still practiced. I saw many workers in their straw hats, waist deep in the water of the fields or plowing behind an ox.

We had a river cruise and visited the secluded fishing village (now a tourist trap) where poets sought seclusion to write and reconnect with the beauty of the land. Riding on a traditional bamboo raft was quite a treat, and although I was not convinced our American weight would stay afloat, the Chinese engineering proved me wrong. 

Fairy Land, as nicknamed by the Chinese, is a large cave discovered in the 1970s. They have a unique way of showcasing it, and the best way to describe it is Carlsbad Caverns meets Disney World. The cave was full of colorful lights, statues, and narrated light shows. The most interesting part of the cave adventure, however, was the signage. Up until Monday, I had been enamored with translations because they seemed to capture a poetry we often lose in our modern English. For example, at the Sun Yatsen Mausoleum, there were several signs encouraging people to not walk on the grass. The signs read, “Enjoy the Growing Grass.” While not exactly a literal command, the message was clearly communicated but the translation captured a core Confucian value at the same time. Not so in Fairy Land.

 

My favorite miscommunication via translation was an exit sign that read, “Move this way for exports.” Many others left us scratching our heads, and we had to giggle at a few that seemed to be an accidental take on slang (see above pic). On our way home, one of the Chinese guests wrote out in Chinese characters and translated into English several poems written in the fishing village, but the translation did not make sense when individual characters were translated into specific English words. He had to add connotation and poetry in English in order to capture the intended meaning by the characters, and I was amazed by how much was lost through translation. As I finish up with this school and begin looking towards my next assignment, I will pay more attention to the nuances of our languages, as they seem to represent an understanding of the culture that I may have been missing.

Thank you to everyone who continues to write to me. Love to all.  

Links to more pics…

New pictures of my students and classroom: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Jiang%20Ning/

Sun Yatsen’s Mausoleum: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Nanjing/Sun%20Yatsen%20Mausoleum/

Nanjing City Wall: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Nanjing/Nanjing%20City%20Wall/

Zhejiang Province: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Zhejiang%20Province/

First Impressions

I’ve now been in China for two weeks. The people here are incredibly nice and friendly. They are gracious when I try to speak their language and use chopsticks. Beijing, Nanjing and Jiang Ning are the cities where I have traveled. My group of teachers was together for the first week, but now I am with my teaching crew. There are six of us – three from Nevada, one from NY, one from Wisconsin, and me – currently teaching and living in Jiang Ning. The school where I am has more resources than West. The building is falling apart and there are holes in the wall, but they made sure we all had LCD projectors, teaching stations, audio system, and a document camera. We also have a portable Smart Board at our disposal. It seems like they are intent on supplying teachers with whatever they need. When the director found out we all spent about $40 to buy a few supplies, he was very upset. He has requested we let them know what we need so they can provide it. Amazing!

After a funny turn of events, I am teaching primary teachers, instead of high school teachers. They are so much fun! We play lots of games and do activities. They are working on their English so everything I do is to help them learn English and they can take the activities and games to their classroom. They are interested in all things American and are confused by many of our traditions and festivals (holidays). The first day I used a song to help introduce them to the states, and, of course, it was by King George Strait! There is nothing better than teaching with pictures of George to gaze at. J They were amazed when I showed them pictures of Colorado and the Paris Ranch. They think all of my family and friends are movie stars and they want me to tell you how beautiful you all are!

My time in Beijing was hectic. I think claustrophobic is the best way to describe it. It is especially busy and crowded when compared to Nanjing and Jiang Ning. The history of the city, however, gave me a new understanding on modern Chinese culture and life. I read a book, China Road, before arriving in order to prepare for their modern culture, but it wasn’t until I stood in Tiananmen Square that I really understood the meaning of their past. It was there the reality of my upcoming adventure hit home.

At the Great Wall, I stood in awe. It has taken me several days to process the impact of standing on the Great Wall. The countryside is lush and dense and it was easy to see why the wall was built. Like being at the Roman Coliseum, I couldn’t help replay much of the history in my mind. The tradition, upheaval and evolution of their culture have all served to create a proud and honorable people. But just like the symbolism of The Wall, much of their current struggle seems to be the battle between keeping tradition pure while seeking to tip their toe in the modern arena.

I am now in Jiangsu province, just outside of Nanjing. Nanjing is a highly educated city. It is similar to Boston, with many universities and significant history. (Shanghai is compared to NYC and Beijing is compared to Washington, DC.) During our first few hours in the city, we were taken to the Nanjing Massacre Museum. At first, I did not understand why this grave location would be our introduction to the city, but after spending several hours there, I realize how this event in history is fresh on the minds of the people. Most of my students had a grandparent living in the city during that time, and just as major events in American history change the current and future generations, all of my students view the world through the lens of the massacre.

I will be in Jiang Ning until June 17, when I will move to Nantong. I’ve uploaded some pictures to Photo Bucket.  You will see lots of pictures of the area and food I’ve been eating. Here are the links.

Beijing: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Beijing/

Forbidden City: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Beijing/Forbidden%20City/

Tiananmen Square: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Beijing/Tiananmen%20Square/

Temple of Heaven: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Beijing/Temple%20of%20Heaven/

Great Wall: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Beijing/Great%20Wall/

Nanjing: http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Nanjing/

Jiang Ning:    http://s676.photobucket.com/albums/vv121/lshudgins/Jiang%20Ning/

Please keep writing to me! I love hearing from everyone!