A Four Good Husband

Peer pressure among men dictates many of the social norms here. Older men drink and smoke because they are forced to show how manly they are and they must out-drink and out-smoke their friends to show they are the manliest. All of my female students see this behavior as piggish and don’t find it attractive. But the men do, so the traditions continue.

There is a rare breed of Chinese man who they call “sì hǎorén,” A Four Good Husband. This husband does not smoke, does not drink and he helps with housework and cooking. In introducing my family to my students, they have concluded that I have not only married a Four Good Husband, but I found the rarest treasure of all: A Five Good Husband. Joel has risen above all other Chinese men not only because he has the four pillars, but because he added a fifth: he is very handsome.

Joel has been so supportive of me during this trip. He’s encouraged me to take the risk and teach abroad, even when I tested the limits by extending my trip an extra two weeks. He’s taken care of the kitties, all of our plants and the gardens, the yard, and the house while I’ve been away. Each day we talk I hear from a joyful and loving man. Even when I have a hard day here, he focuses on the positives and keeps me striving to give my teachers the very best each day. And if that wasn’t enough, he has bought me a side trip to Xi’an where I will be able to visit the Terracotta Army.

Apart from teaching, there were two things I wanted to do while I was here. I wanted to hike the Great Wall and see the Terracotta Army. I never imagined being able to do everything I wanted, but I am leaving China without any regrets. Every adventure has proven to be more amazing than anything I read in my travel books, and now I’ve been given a gift to complete the journey. My cup runneth over!

Even though my schedule is set for the last few days, I do not know what kind of connections I will have. Here is my plan (on China time):

            Thursday, July 29 – Night train from Shanghai to Xi’an

            Friday, July 30 – Xi’an; spend the night in Xi’an

            Saturday, July 31 – Flight from Xi’an to Shanghai; spend the night in Shanghai

            Sunday, August 1 – Fly home (Shanghai to San Francisco to Denver)

           

I hope to be able to post my experiences in Xi’an before I come back home. But if not, I am so proud for this to be my last message from China. To my sweet and wonderful husband…Thank you for being you!